Identify Theft - Problem or Opportunity?

So, now that my id has been stolen and I've canceled all my credit cards, I have to deal with the potential identity theft.  Canceling and replacing all the identification that's been stolen. 

Inside Every Shadowy Woman is...

It certainly raises a series of interesting questions:

• Does that mean I don't exist right now?
• What if I decide not to reclaim my identity?  Would any one notice?
• What if someone steals my identity:
  • do they have to pay my bills?
  • can I make them do my taxes?  Please?
  • do I get a brand new shiny identity?  Please? 
    • I think I want to be Latin this time, I'll be able to speak Spanish and get a better tan.
• During the reapplication for all this stuff can I tweak my identity? 
  • if I tell them that they've always had my birthday wrong, and I was really born on February 3rd will I get a better birthday party? (Dad would certainly corroborate this for me.)
• can I build a brand-new persona or two to faciliate my future activites as a spy? (oops... did I say that outloud??!??)

Humm, perhaps this pickpocketing thing has opened the door for some new, exciting, overseas travel.

Comments

[goobers18]

[this is good] if you find a way to get a shiny new identity out of this (or get your bills paid), let us know! i'll have to try it!

[angelanoel]

When I got married, I was very tempted to give myself a bizarre middle name. Too bad you're no longer allowed to legally change your middle name due to marriage. Stupid US social security rules!

(ever seen that episode of Friends, where Pheobe changes her name to something really odd?)

[Lex]

goobers18 - sure... but how will you know it's me?

angelanoel - you could change you middle name when you got married?!?  What was that about? 
and no, haven't seen that episode.

[margotinto]

I say Carpe Diem. Grab some shiny new material, cut out a new Lex, sew her up, try her on, and if she doesn't fit right, just try something/someone else. I'd suggest trying a peridot coloured linen for spring.

I am also in the midst of recreating my identity, only because I realized if I don't maintain a firm hold on its definition, I might get caught in the suburban undertow. A friend of mine said yesterday that I'd be the sexiest mom on the block, and I think I had a petit mal seizure.

[Enter the Greenhouse]

Considering that I am a big fan of the 3 Rs (reduce, reuse, recycle), if anyone has some of their original identities left over once they finish redecorating, send some out West.  I could use a new look for Spring (though it snowed here today!).  So, peridot is the new colour, is it, Muggs?

[Lex]

SexyInSuburbia - peridot... I'm a fan! 
One quick tip for your suburban life, if you are the most interesting person on the guest list, skip the party!

The Greenhows - I'll spread the word.

[margotinto]

I think we can make it the new colour. My new identity includes fashion bellwhether. Not being the most interesting person might be hard, me being me.